The recent church trial of Amy DeLong shocked me in many ways - most of them good! I've spent lots of time being thankful for the wonderful outcome. But one stunning moment of reflection is worth sharing.
Although the trial was in the works for close to two years, Amy's defense team had very little time to put together their argument: not much more than a week, amazingly. The reason they had so little time is that details kept shifting on them. The time, the location and the presiding officer all changed. And then, right at the beginning of this month, the evidence and most of the witnesses for the defendant were thrown out due to a very late and unexpected pre-trial ruling. All in all, it left about a week for the team to put their case together. Thankfully, God still made a way. But while the trial was going on I felt it truly was not fair.
In the midst of the jury's deliberations I shared with a friend how shocked I was at the injustice. She said to me very bluntly, "This is what African American people have been telling us for years. The system is not fair."
Whoa.
We didn't explore the ramifications of the statement or elaborate through examples. We didn't develop an analogy between racism and homophobia. But her words struck me deeply. In a moment, here's some of what I felt...
I felt sad that anyone else would experience something like the emotions that I was feeling due to perceived injustice.
I felt narrow for only having the identities of gay and lesbian people in my head and heart as we were talking.
I felt thankful for the friendship of heterosexual African American friends who might have even more sympathy than I realized.
I felt smart and more powerful for being able to see another opportunity to name injustice with the intention and ability to make change.
I felt challenged to recognize other examples of unfairness and double standards that I might not have recognized before...
(some of what I felt)
On Friday night, I had another experience that I think this earlier conversation helped to create.
On Friday night, I heard an interview with Jose Antonio Vargas about his life as an undocumented immigrant. (I hope you have read the essay)
What struck me was the way the interviewer asked him about how he thinks that coming clean with his lie affects his credibility as a journalist.
What struck me was that I didn't see Jose Antonio Vargas as "having lied."
To me, lying is a clear cut judgment - something that should not be done and should be avoided. But it doesn't seem that his behavior constituted lying. He was put in an unfair situation. I'd even say that he is the victim of injustice.
When he was a child, should he have investigated for himself to learn his status?
If a 12 doesn't do that, are they lying?
Should he have self-selected himself for deportation when he was 16 (when he found out)?
Is that fair?
How can we judge what he "should have done"?
Jose Antonio Vargas and millions of other undocumented immigrants are caught in a web of misfortune. Part of that misfortune is that he was put in a situation beyond his control. But part of that misfortune is the unjust system itself that puts enormous numbers of people in that web as well.
This is not to say that people born in this country to parents who are both citizens have put him in this bad situation either. They (we) have pain too and also face other injustices.
All Americans have to own and struggle with the injustices of our immigration policies. The difficulty and reality is not only for the MILLIONS of people who are part of the statistics. The rest of us cannot just judge and watch from a distance.
I think that his experience as an undocumented immigrant is something I have to learn from rather than judge. Learning a little about his story has helped to grow my heart. In addition to sharing my own story, learning from others is also an important part of how God calls me.
Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.
(Mt 7:1-2)
This is my prayer:
"God of Sympathy and Justice,
open my heart to the experiences of others
and protect me from the judgments that I make
so that I can love with the heart of Christ - Amen."
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